37 weeks pregnant we go in for a routine Dr. Appointment and while listening to my son’s heartbeat just like at every other appointment we lost it right in the middle of listening. It went from beating very strong and all of a sudden it started to slow almost to the point of stopping she quickly rolled me to my side and it picked back up. I was then sent to L&D to be monitored for a few hours. After everything checked out ok we were then instructed that we had to come in twice a week for a bio physical profile (ultrasound) and a Non Stress Test. So every time we had these appointments I had to take off work. At 38 weeks I was so tired of doing these and having him perform perfectly every time. I was tired of being pregnant and tired of going to the Dr. to wait for hours to even get called back for my tests and then have him perform perfectly. So at our next appointment 38w and 6d, I just casually asked the nurse about induction and what was their take on it etc. The nurse looked at me with a consoling look and answered “aww are you done with this pregnancy?” I casually laughed and said “YES!” “SOOO DONE!” so she said she would call over and check the induction schedule. I got a phone call the day after; it was Tuesday December 12, saying if I could be at the hospital in an hour I could get checked in for an induction! I was so excited I couldn’t even think! Only problem was I was still in college and was on my way there at that very moment to take the last 2 of my final exams. So I called her back, as much as I didn’t want to, and she said ok well then be here Thursday morning the 14th at 6:00 am and they’ll get started! I was thrilled! Elated! Over the moon we were finally getting our baby boy! And I wouldn’t have to go to any more appointments!
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 6:00am-
We get to the hospital, get checked in our room, and the smiles that are on our faces are just beaming! They come in and take blood work, for what I have no idea, I didn’t care, I was just there to follow the rules, set up my IV, hooked me up to the fetal monitors, and I was set! About an hour later the nurse came in and started me on a low dose of Pitocin. At around 8:00 my Dr. came in, checked me, reported that I was at 2-3cm and 80% effaced so she was going to break my water. My water being broken was the weirdest thing I’d ever felt, it was like someone turned on a faucet between my legs, she assured me that was normal and she said she would come back and check on me at about noon, if the nurses didn’t call her before that. At about 9:00 the nurses came in and turned up my Pitocin a little more. I was really starting to feel these contractions and really needing to concentrate to get through them. They were about 5 minutes apart and lasting about 45 seconds. About 10:00 the nurse came in, saw the look on my face, and asked me if I wanted something to take the edge off, I gladly accepted the shot of Demerol, and 5 minutes later she came back with my first round of drugs. I HATED the way I felt on that Demerol, it was like being drunk but trying to act like I wasn’t and to make it worse my in-laws, sister, mother, cousin, and husband were in the room watching me…the last thing I wanted them to do was laugh at me. Looking back that sounds silly, but it’s the main reason I hated that shot because I couldn’t surrender to it. The icing on the cake was the dumb shot only lasted about 15 minutes.
At 11:00am I was checked again and this time I was at a 4 and 100% effaced so she asked me if I wanted my epidural, YES I said, thank god she finally asked! I had the biggest smile on my face when the anesthesiologist walked in. Once the epidural was in place I was HAPPY oh my whole attitude changed, I didn’t care who was in the room, what they were doing, or what conversations were going on, I couldn’t feel a thing! Oh I was in Heaven. The nurses would come in from time to time and up the Pitocin, but I didn’t care, I was completely oblivious to what they were doing anymore I was happily watching movies with my husband and chatting with my family just waiting to get to 10cm.
3:15pm my Dr. comes in to check me, even though she said she would at noon, oh well though because to my surprise I was complete and ready! She said she would be back in a little while she was going to let me “labor down” the nurse that was in there with her explained to me that babies head was still pretty high so I was going to labor down and then start pushing! We were very excited and at 4:00 my Dr. came back and we started pushing. It was just like you see in the movies and on the TLC shows, with the nurse and your husband holding your legs back and them all counting for you from 1-10, screaming and chanting encouraging words, while your Dr. is staring right in between your legs waiting for baby to pop out.
4:53pm Carrson was born! He was here! My husband was crying I was exhausted and in shock but once I held him, his fresh skin next to mine I just cried. My birth at that time in my life was perfect. It was exactly what I wanted. It was exactly how I had imagined it. Honestly I didn’t think it could be different. I thought that if you gave birth with no drugs than it wasn’t by choice you had just waited too long to get an epidural. I used to think that you shouldn’t choose “pain” to give birth if there was a way to prevent it! To me that was just silly. After all we aren’t given medals.
After all of this….why on earth would I choose to give birth with no drugs to my subsequent children.
Remember the only knowledge and research I’d done on birth was the anecdote’s id heard from my family and friends. I didn’t know anyone in real life who had given birth naturally, without Pitocin, epidural, or both. But lucky for me…and my future children’s birth’s I had a friend who was due 6 months later. She was giving birth at home…with a midwife…I thought she’d lost her mind! Not to mention what if she got to 40 weeks! How would they induce!? Once I’d heard her birth story I started looking in to more and more about these women who wanted to birth at home with midwives, it’s almost like my research started as a way to prove my original thoughts right, and that she was crazy and suddenly a light bulb turned on…I was the crazy one, why would you NOT want to give birth at home. I learned that Pitocin contractions were not “real” they hurt “worse” because they were forced from a machine. I had read SO MANY stories that explained the natural process of birthing and woman after woman being satisfied and I started to wrap my head around it. I couldn’t be upset about my previous birth because it’s exactly what I wanted, but what I could do was put my new information to good use. I kept researching and reading everything I could get my hands on and even interviewed my own potential midwife at 8 months postpartum because we planned to ttc #2 soon. I knew now that when birth was left alone untouched, it could be so much different. If I could just move around instead of being strapped to the bed with monitors the contractions which were my own and not machine forced would be much more manageable, I wouldn’t “need” an epidural. And furthermore I knew that if “all these other women” could do it….so could I. After researching and reading I also found that Pitocin and epidurals actually came with a lot of risks and I was very lucky to have the outcome I did and not a C-section, even though at the time I wouldn’t have even cared if I’d of had a C-section. The more research I did the more I realized how lucky I was to have the amazing hospital birth that I had, and I couldn’t wait to do it differently and prove to myself that even I could do it too.