August 14 came and went, but I expected it to-no big deal. August 17 came and went but I sort of expected that too, even though I was hopeful she would come early because of the pain I was in for the past 22 weeks I was also practical and knew that I’d probably make it to 40 weeks no problem. I developed SPD (symphasis pubic dysfunction) at 18 weeks and wow it really took a lot out of me this pregnancy, so as the pregnancy progressed and we were nearing the “due date” I was so ready to meet her and be out of pain and ready to just start our life as a family of 5.
Peyton was born at 40 weeks 3 days (according to my sonogram due date) and so I just assumed that Violet would be at least similar. Wow I was way wrong. 40 weeks 3 days came and went; my good friend was actually in labor and having her baby that day. I was so happy for her but I wanted my own baby so bad. I wanted to be able to get up, stand up, roll over, walk, keep up with my family, and not have my mood affected by the pain I was in. I was seeing the chiropractor 3 times a week for the last 4 months and that helped a great deal but I had to keep going back so often because the adjustment just wouldn’t stick because of the pregnancy hormone relaxin. Had I not kept up with my chiropractic adjustments I don’t even want to imagine what the last 4 months of my pregnancy would have been like.
August 21- 40 weeks 4 days my emotions were everywhere. I wanted this baby out so badly I was really struggling emotionally with the uncertainty of when labor would start and just felt like it HAD to happen soon but I was fighting fear thoughts as well that this baby was never coming and I’d end up weak and just go to the hospital and ask for induction even though somewhere deep down I knew it wasn’t necessary and it definitely wasn’t what I wanted. My midwife was coming in to town and I had asked her about a few natural induction techniques and she suggested nipple stimulation along with black and blue cohosh in certain intervals that would stimulate contractions. I asked to be checked because I just needed a starting point emotionally. I knew it meant nothing but mentally it was just something I needed to cope. To my surprise I was a 3 and 85-90% effaced, it felt good knowing SOMETHING was happening. My doula had also come over for a little bit of acupressure. I’d also been told to just relax and just try to get my mind right and in a happy place so that things could progress. So with our older 2 kids spending the night with their memaw, Rusty and I just relaxed and watched a movie that night. At 4:15 am on August 22, I woke up to contractions about 6-8 min apart. These contractions were familiar I knew these were real I was so excited I couldn’t stand it. At about 5:00 I woke rusty up for some counter pressure on my lower back to help me get through them. They stayed at about 5 min apart by that point for another hour. I just switched between sitting up and lying down in our bed watching the news and making my way through each contraction. At 6:00am I knew my mom would be getting up and getting ready for work so I went ahead and told her that I’d been having contractions for a few hours and she came over and things kind of slowed down but they were still coming. I gave my doula and midwife a heads up but didn’t have them come over because I just wasn’t certain this was going to be it. We got the pool aired up and the liner put in but things were going so slow it just didn’t seem “right”. At about 9:00 I went to get adjusted to see if that would speed things up, but really the car ride and change in activity sort of slowed them down big time and eventually went away. What a defeating feeling. I never had any “pre-labor” with my previous births, so this was new to me. The emotions were new to me. It was very overwhelming. My midwife and doula wondered if anything was holding me back emotionally and I expressed some concern that I was terrified of a 2 day labor like my sister had only to end up in the hospital with a C-section. Her labor was so emotional for me and was so intense that I’ve been healing from it ever since she gave birth (February 2010) I went home took a nap and just tried to rest and keep my mind and emotions in check. We had dinner at my moms and I had a talk with my sister. I was so worried that she would be mad or upset with herself if she saw me give birth again naturally at home and really it was all she wanted to do with her first child. Not only did she want this but she busted her BUTT for 41 hours of hard intense labor to get it and to only make it so far and end up with a C-section was just devastating for me (as it was for her but I am her older sister and just wanted it so bad for her too). Anyway we talked about how I was worried that seeing me do it “again” would affect her and she assured me that she WANTED me to do it again and not only did she want me to have a natural birth again she NEEDED me to…she needed to see it, she needed it as part of her own healing. She needed her faith restored even more and I needed to be her example. This made me feel TONS better and I felt so good going home that night. I could do this I could go on and be patient and wait for Violet to pick her birthday.
August 23- Rusty heads to work, I’m feeling great life is going on as normal and I’m loving feeling good. My mom and I were going to go to the mall and walk around and just try and keep my mind busy. The kiddos wanted to go to memaws so I called her she came to pick them up, as I’m getting them ready I start to feel a little “off” kind of sick like but kind of crampy just not feeling right so I lay down on the couch for a little bit. Rusty called at 10:30 on his lunch break and I could feel myself losing it. If something is wrong I always cry if my mom or rusty asks “what’s wrong”, he didn’t ask that exact question so I was able to hold it together but I did ask him what the extension was for the side of work he was on so that if I needed him I could call directly to that extension and his boss could go get him for me. Well as soon as we hung up it was about 10 min before his lunch break ended so I was able to call him on his cell phone and just have him come home, something didn’t feel right I was crampy/contracting and I didn’t know where one started and one ended and I was just doubled over in pain, had the chills, contractions were coming and THIS was going to be Violets birthday. Things were happening fast, we called my doula, called the birth photographer, my midwife started on her way from (3 ½ hours away) and things continued to be intense. My chiropractor came over for an adjustment to see if she could make things in to a more predictable pattern for me and contractions kept coming after the adjustment I was pretty confident this was it since the day before once I got adjusted they faded pretty fast. My midwife went ahead and sent the backup midwife who was closer to town to check things out and kind of assess where we were. I was checked and had made it to a 4, stretchy 5 and things were looking good. We took my vitals and my BP was slightly elevated (nothing over “normal” but a little high for me) and I had a temp….remember the chills….my midwife thought that either I had a UTI or something else was wrong and we would have to investigate further. So in order to get checked out for a UTI I would have to either go to the hospital where they would see my dates and keep me for sure I was 40+6 at that point and didn’t want the hospital, I wanted her to be born at home, it’s so much easier for our family if she was just born at home. So our only other option was care now. I would have to really work hard to mask the contractions because if I was in labor they surely wouldn’t have kept me. I got a contraction on the way in the door so I kind of stood to the side and didn’t go in right at first. We picked a seat out of sight so I wouldn’t look funny during contractions. We got called back and I was praying I wouldn’t get one while walking back. I went back and did the whole pee in a cup thing and waited until I got a contraction before I came out and went walking back down the hall again. Turns out sure enough I had a UTI which was putting me in to “labor” I got a shot of Antibiotics (OUCH!) a prescription and went home. Things kept going I kept having contractions, but as the antibiotics kicked in….low and behold things slowed down. And if it’s really TRUE labor NOTHING will get in its way. So once things finally settled down all the way I had a good cry and my doula put me to bed with a nice massage J LOVE that woman! She is a LMT and licensed in acupressure J PERFECT combo for pregnant mamas! So the emotions now stacked up from the last two days of false labor at OVER 40 weeks pregnant I was just shot, emotionally and now physically. Rusty ended up just starting his vacation because I just couldn’t hang by myself anymore I was weak and now I had fear that what if something was wrong I mean it wasn’t “my normal” to carry babies this long I had so many unanswered questions in my mind I really struggled to find my faith in all this but SOMETHING kept me going because I just could NOT make the decision to throw my hands in the air and go to the hospital quite yet. The next day we walked around a bit and thought maybe things would pick back up, contractions went back to just strong Braxton hicks and that was that, I really started ignoring the contractions because I was just really frustrated with them. My midwife stayed in town, planning to stay until I had the baby. So August 24-41 weeks exactly that night she came over and swept my membranes, she was able to get a really good sweep I was a 4-stretchy 5 and 90% effaced so surely that would kick things in. Emotionally I needed her to do that. I was really struggling with the false labor. I slept through the night and woke up pregnant….AGAIN….I went through the day walking around and just really trying to do whatever I could to make it through the day and stay cool it was SO hot outside it was super frustrating to not be able to just go outside and take a walk or feel productive like I was doing anything. That evening my out of town family came in to surprise me! It was a nice distraction if nothing else J I love getting to see them! I was really struggling with more fear thoughts at this point (Thursday night) and so I had a nice bath just alone with Violet and Pandora and really just tried to chat with myself and sort out my thoughts…what did I want, what did I think would really happen, how would this birth really go down. It was nice to be able to sort out fear vs. reality and I went to bed feeling great. (Side note is my sister in law who was 34 weeks pregnant was admitted to the hospital to be monitored for low fluid levels, we went to bed that night thinking everything was fine with them and she was just going to be monitored and things would be just fine) I got a call at 11:45 from my mother in law, they were taking the baby by emergency C-section…NOW….i woke up rusty told him and we jumped up got dressed and went to the hospital, and my mom came over to sleep at my house because my kids were already in bed. My sister in law delivered at 12:06 am a 5lb 4oz baby boy and he was going to have to stay a while in the NICU. That Friday 8/26 on the way home I was having intense contractions, major bloody show and mucous plug was going fast I was really feeling like this was going to be it I went to bed with the thought that as much as I want this to happen our family was really busy right now and I was really actually hoping they would stop. I think Violet knew her cousin was coming first and she needed to stay put while we got organized with him because the whole time my sister in law was in the hospital I was fine emotionally, I was ok being pregnant, wasn’t having contractions, I was in a really good place emotionally and physically, surprisingly from Friday to Monday I was in no pain, it was amazing. All hands were on deck to help them through this unexpected delivery in any way they needed. When she was released from the hospital Monday night I finally felt like it was “ok” to go in to labor. My family had gone home Sunday, Violet apparently missed the memo they were here to meet her.
FINALLY TODAY IS THE DAY!
When I woke up Tuesday morning August 30 STILL pregnant I just hit a wall! I’d lost it! I’m DONE being pregnant I don’t want to do this anymore fear thoughts were coming back full force and we had a bio physical profile sonogram scheduled for the next day (8/31-42 weeks) I woke up with only one thought….CASTOR OIL! I let my midwife know my plans (she had gone home the Friday before 8/26) and she asked that I let her finish her prenatal appointments for the day and then she would come to town because she wanted to be close just in case. I let her know we planned on running a few errands that day anyway and that was fine with me I’d wait….i mean by this point I was getting pretty good at waiting no matter how much I hated it. We went to Wal-Mart picked up the castor oil and I went home to wait. I’d talked to my midwife at about 4:00 and she told me to go ahead and take the first small dose at 5:00 and then repeat the dose every hour up to 4 times if I still felt nothing happening. So rusty went out to get me a coke and a strawberry milkshake from sonic and I started taking it at 5:00, took the second dose at 6:oo, third dose at 7:00 it was getting a little rough to take now and before I took the last dose I’d spoken again with my midwife and she said I could take a triple dose just to top it off if I wanted so at 8:00 I went out to mix up my labor cocktail took half the dose and I couldn’t get it all down…I was done with the castor oil…I’d taken enough and didn’t want anymore-nothing was happening….it was my last ditch effort and that was that no more. My midwife offered to come and sweep my membranes again if I wanted and I agreed, that was way more tolerable than more castor oil, upon her checking and sweeping me again we found out that I was a good solid 5 and her head had really dropped down and I was 95% effaced…I mean how much more did Violet want to get things started! Come on girl get out of mama! We did the sweep and Kelly stayed in town again just in case she was 10 min down the road, it was a good thing because I would have felt terrible calling her again with more FALSE freaking labor!
It was my turn to lay down with Carrson until he fell asleep and at about 9:45 I had my first castor oil ummmm ya….but it still didn’t do anything contraction worthy I went ahead and told my doula and photographer but really I was afraid to tell anyone because of all the previous false labor, about 10:15 yep another bathroom trip….still nothing just annoying trips to the bathroom. At 10:40 I started to get some contractions finally, and about 10:45 thought oh what the heck I guess I’ll time them sure enough they were 2-3 min apart and I could tell if they were just bathroom/sick feeling contractions or if these were the real deal. I was out in the living room and I tried calling rusty cause he was in our room already in bed to see if he would just come out and sit with me….well all his phone did in there was ring…I kept hearing it ring and ring, so I just crawled to the door, stood up and went in to lay down in my HUGE pregnancy pillow that I love, maybe I could find a comfy spot there. Luckily I did and rusty was now applying counter pressure and I was still getting contractions 2-3 min apart ALSO with trips to the bathroom here and there…great. I finally toughened up and text my mom to come over. I figured if this was real then my mom wouldn’t “scare” it away. She came over and sure enough things kept coming it was about 11:30 at this point and my mom was wanting me to call the midwife…I just wasn’t sure yet…so we just kept watching TV and chit chatting in between contractions and finally at about 12:00-12:15 I called everyone to come over…NOW at first I told Kelly give me 15 min to decide if I was ready for her or not but the next contraction I decided yes please come and FILL UP THAT DANG BIRTH POOL! About 15 min later my water broke on the way back from the bathroom during a contraction….wow I’d never felt that before it was the classic “pop-trickle….gush” pretty sure I said something similar to OH MY GOSH OW HER HEAD IS MOVING WHOA MY WATER JUST BROKE. And at that moment I was so overwhelmed with happiness I cried, my next question was “was it clear?” I was kind of worried with me being 42 weeks pregnant that it would have meconium in it, not that it would have been a deal breaker but I didn’t want to have to even think about it. IT WAS CLEAR hooray! I sat down on the bed to wait for the pool to finish filling up and I got another contraction and remember thinking omg rusty is going to kill me…my water broke on the carpet and NOW it’s here leaking on our bed…thank god we have a mattress cover J soon after I was able to get in the birth pool and the rest is history, I don’t remember who was where except for rusty was applying counter pressure to my back still and he was IN the pool with me, I don’t remember what time it was or how many more contractions I had but I know that SOON I was feeling her come down, midwife went around to see and sure enough she was right there thank goodness…I still couldn’t believe this was actually happening I was so happy this was finally going to be over and I was going to be holding my baby girl SO soon! Just a few more contractions and she was OUT! one of the coolest things that happened was once her head was out I didn’t have another contraction for a while so we all just sat and waited and I listened to everyone talk about her facial features and I felt her head and they were just really enjoying the moment and that made me smile inside 2-3 contractions later she was here. Kelly handed her to me in-between my legs and I lifted her out of the water…WOW I’d done it (again) and here she was. It was amazing. It was the quick non chaotic birth I wanted. I even waited her out so it would lessen my chances of tearing (I did end up with a tiny stich-but had no healing pain from it whatsoever, I didn’t even notice it was there!)
We woke the kids up and rusty’s mom who had been called over to crawl in bed with them just in case they woke up during the middle of everything and everyone came in to meet Violet! Carrson cut the cord all by himself it had been something he talked about for a long time and he did an amazing job he enjoyed every second of it. He even went in and Kelly taught him all about the placenta and what it does for baby while inside the mommy’s tummy and he was SO in to that lesson, he even put a glove on and was really interested in it.
I was so happy to have my family of 5.
FINALLY not only would I not wake up pregnant one more day but I wouldn’t even go to bed pregnant J
Violet 8/31/11 1:25am 8lbs 6oz 21.25 inches long